Locked and Alone
by Mellkat86
Summary: Set after episode 'Tougher than the Rest'. May contain spoilers from the episode. **Gideon may have failed one side of his plan, but he still has the rest of his plan that involves Rumple and Belle.** Sequel to this story: /s/12403556/1/The-Strengthen-of-Love
1. Chapter 1

**Locked and Alone: Chapter 1**

The sun was setting down over Storybrooke as Rumple entered his shop through the front door. The sign on the door clattered against the blind on the door when he was pushed it closed. 'Well, today could have gone better', he thought to himself, walking through the shop into the back of it. The day's events deeply troubled him. He opened a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of a scotch and a glass, before dropping into the chair behind his workbench.

As he poured himself a drink, Rumple pulled at his tie and threw it off to one side. The brown liquid went down soothe and he relished the burning sensation as he swallowed the contents of the glass whole. He placed the glass onto the table and perched his arm on the table, cradling his forehead in his hand.

"What did you do that for?", Rumple asked himself out load. He snatched the bottle up from the table and poured himself another drink, which he quickly devoured. His day had started with a plan. A plan where he was going to save his unborn son. A plan where Belle and he could go back to how it was. A plan for a future together. Then he broke it... again.

Rumple unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt and pulled the collars apart to allow himself to breathe more easily, as he leaned back into his chair. He ruined it. He was too consumed by getting control... getting power, that he thought he could manipulate everyone to his will. Except he didn't think things through. He didn't see all the possibilities.

He rubbed his hands through his short greying hair, slightly pulling on it between his fingers, as he cursed the Evil Queen for sabotaging his plan. And cursed himself for getting involved with her.

Truly, there was no one else to blame but himself. If he had not come up with some mad plan to hurry along Belle's pregnancy, then the Evil Queen would not have been able to do what she did to him. Did to Belle and him. The Evil Queen had pushed Belle into making a decision that Rumple will have to live with for the rest of his life.

Living with regret seemed to be Rumple's thing.

Rumple was disturbed from his musings by his phone chirping in his pocket. Glancing towards the grandfather clock, he pulled a face at the late hour and retrieve his phone from pocket. On the small screen, it read 'Belle'. His head dropped as he tossed the phone onto the table and reached for the bottle to pour another drink.

Any other time... Yes, he would have jumped at the chance to answer the phone to her. But too much had happened. Like they had said at the wishing well, they need to work together to get this sorted and to help Gideon. But she was not interested in 'them' anymore. He can't mend it anymore. She can't love him after this. Never love him anymore.

Rumple drew the glass to his lips, his eyes watching the phone buzzed on top of the workbench, dancing across the smooth oak workbench. It stopped after a couple of seconds. He closed his eyes. Then tossed the scotch into his mouth. He knew no matter how much he drank, it was not going to lessen the regret, the heartache, he was feeling. He'd gone too far. He knew that. And he had pushed her too far. Too far away from him that he could not reach her.

The phone called to him again. He glared at it. It taunted him. Belle's name kept flashing on and off on the screen. His head shook from side to side, but with a heavy sigh he gave in and snatched the phone up to answer it.

"Belle." He stated. Whether it was a telling off or some heartfelt plea with him, he wanted it to be over quickly.

A hesitant voice said, "Rum...ple."

Rumple's eyebrows knitted together at hearing her voice, her quiet little voice. His strong Belle seemed to be wavering and there nothing he could do to help her. "What's the matter, Belle? Are you okay?"

"I'm scared for him, Rumple. What have I done?" Belle said, her voice quivering. He was taken aback, drawing a sharp breath. He'd never heard her like this before. She wasn't her normal confidant self.

Yes, she had been cursing herself for wishing at the wishing well, but it seemed in the hour or so they had spent apart, she had given into the darkness that had always been encircling them.

"It's not your fault, Belle." He said sincerely. "This is all my doing. Don't worry, please, I will find a way to fix this and I'll make the Black Fairy… My mother, pay for this!"

There was silence for a moment. His brow furrowed. 'Belle', he thought to himself before closing his eyes in disbelief. He knew she was hurting. Yes, they had agreed to work together to help their son but she had also made it clear there was no going back. Her fiery spirit had ignited when he had suggested they go home together, so she had shouted at him. But when doesn't she shout at him? And where was he? Selfishly sitting in his shop drinking his woes away and feeling sorry for himself, because she had rebuke his invitation.

"Belle?" His voice was quiet. "Do you want me to come to you?"

"No, Rumple. No." Her voice was stern with her fiery passion.

"What do you want me to do, Belle?" He begged. Rumple never begged anyone... But her.

"I don't know. I don't know why I called you to be honest." She told him, but he knew she was crying. He could hear it, feel it.

He started to stand. "Sweetheart, where are you? I'll come to you and we can talk."

"Rumple, no." Belle insisted. Rumple stopped mid step as he was coming about the workbench. If he did not hear the faint whisper of his dagger in the safe, he would have thought she had it in her hand at that precise moment.

The thoughts he had been mulling over earlier came back to haunt him. He must have finally lost her. His one true love had given up on him. There was nothing in her voice that gave him hope she wanted him. He had killed it… Like so many other things in the past. All the light in his life was slowly dwindling away.

"Ok..." He mumbled down the phone to her. His gaze dropped to the floor, as the phone fell from his ear. Rumple closed the phone and tossed it back onto the workbench behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Locked and Alone: Chapter 2**

Rumple stirred from his drunken haze. His hand raised to his forehead as he groaned, sitting up off the bed to sit on the edge of the it. On the floor by his feet, lay the empty bottle of scotch he had started and finished last night. He kicked it and sent the bottle clattering to the other side of the room. Rumple winched from the noise before pushing himself up from the bed to stand. Leaning onto the cupboard nearest to him he looked about the room.

Not seeing anything but regret and memories of Belle, Rumple shambled into the front of the shop, his eyes surveying his shop. The order he tried to keep in his shop was possibly some foolish idea of control over his life. Control of the battlefield. At one time he had control over all the players... Until Belle came back into his life.

The shop door sign clattered as someone hurried through the door. "Rumple!"

"Yes, Miss Swan." His fingers tried to soothe the pain she inflicted with her voice from his temple.

"There you are." Emma said, closing the door less forcefully than she had entered. "We need to talk about the dark cloaked guy, your son"

"There is nothing to discuss, Miss Swan." Rumple waved his hand through the air, trying to dismiss her words away.

"Well, I think there is, Rumple." Emma moved closer to Rumple.

He sighed in defeat knowing she was not going to go easily. "I am going to take care of it. Nothing for the Savior to bother herself with."

Emma's eyes quizzed him. "Rumple, he has vowed to kill me."

"It doesn't matter." Rumple said, pointing his finger at her. "You just stay away from boy."

"Whatever he has planned is not going to be..." She was cut short by her phone ringing in her pocket. Emma pulled it out and answered it. "David?"

Rumple could not make out the conversation. He breathed in deeply and then turned to make his way into the back of the shop. His hand seemed to make its own way up to his heart and began to rub it, trying to soothe the pain that lingered there.

He could hear murmuring from the other room but his mind had turned to other things now. He had to find a way of helping his son. To help Gideon. Shuffling across the floor, Rumple made his way to his private collection of dark spell books. He pulled out a few and threw them to his workbench.

The curtain pulled to one side and allowed Emma through. "Rumple."

"Yes, Miss Swan." He said walking over to his workbench with two more books under his arm.

"We can help, Rumple." She said with that annoying sound of pity in her voice.

Rumple rolled his eyes as he leaned on the counter. "Just stay out of my business. I've already told you. I will sort this out."

He had not noticed how close she had gotten. "Rumple, we can help you stop him." He allowed his gaze to meet hers as her hand came to rest on his shoulder. 'There it was', he thought to himself and shrugged her hand off his shoulder.

"Who said," Rumple's voice became deep and dark. "That I wanted help from... you."

"I... Well... Belle." Emma took a step back as she told him.

"What?" Rumple was taken aback by Belle's name leaving her lips.

"She's over at my parent's apartment. She's with my parents trying to find a way to stop him." She explained.

"Look, Miss Swan," He turned to face her. "I will take care of my son. You can just go back to sheriff-ing Storybrooke."

Emma's brow furrowed. "We will help you. Your family, Rumple. Gideon is family. I will not stand by idly."

Rumple grimaced at her words. He was not sure whether they were honest or if she was trying to get one over on him. But... he was not interested in others getting between him and his son.

"Miss Swan, I think it's time you left my shop. Thank you for your offer but I am not interested." His voice turned back to dark again. "I will find my son. I will help him. But I am not going to do this for... For this town. I am doing this for my son and Belle. So, please, leave now!"

Emma visibly swallowed. He wasn't sure whether he had spoken to her like that before, but that thought was soon forgotten as he turned back to the books on his workbench. Rumple started to flick through some of the pages in a book and Emma started to leave, but paused in the doorway.

"Whether you like it or not, Rumple, but this town is in trouble, which makes me involved no matter what you say. We are going to find a way to stop him, with or without you. It would be easier with you, but I understand." Emma told him before walking through the curtains. He could hear her footsteps and then the shop door clattered again, before being shut again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Locked and Alone: Chapter 3**

The crisp morning air attacked Rumple as he stepped out of the shop's front door, his suit jacket over his arm, looking a little worse of wear than usual. He locked the front door and hobbled towards his car. The books in his shop were not giving him any ideas. Rumple yanked open the door to his car to toss his suit jacket onto the passenger seat. He glanced around the street aimlessly, pulling down his waistcoat, before he stepped inside his car and closed the door behind him.

The car started first time, like it always did, and Rumple pulled the gear select into drive. He drove through the streets making his way home. It was quiet. Hardly a soul was venturing out. His son had made such an impact already to Storybrooke.

Rumple parked the car into his drive and made his way into the house and down to the basement. He hoped that some of the books he kept at home would give him some inspiration. The light he flicked on flooded the basement. He passed his spinner and lightly stroke his fingers over the books lining the walls of his basement.

The hope he had was dwindling. He was torturing himself. Torturing himself over what had happened and what he should do. Belle's voice was ringing in his head, telling him to stop and save their son from his fate. But then, his dagger was calling to him as well. The power his son now possessed could make for a strong ally or... an enemy. He shook his head forcefully at the thought. Belle would never ever forgive him. He knew that. But... The darkness did have a strong call.

"Father." The deep voice called from a corner of the basement. Rumple slowly turned to face where the voice had come from. He had been so distracted by his thoughts that he hadn't felt his son's aura.

"Gideon."

"You have destroyed my mother." Gideon's voice dripped with distaste.

"Gideon," Rumple said closing his eyes, the words stabbing his dark heart. "I have not destroyed your mother."

"You destroy everything you touch!" Gideon said, taking a step into the light to highlight his face.

"Yes, I do. But I try. I love your mother very dearly and would never intentionally hurt her or you. I love you both so much." Rumple pleaded. His son's eyes were dark, probably darker than Rumple's ever were or ever had been. In that moment, Rumple could not tell what his son wanted but he knew that it was not going to be good.

"Son," Rumple gently took a step forward towards Gideon. "Let me help you. You probably have so many questions and I want to try and answer them for you."

Gideon took a quick step forward and came face to face with Rumple. Rumple knew this was not going to be good, but he stood his ground. He could not waver from strength now and show weakness to his son. But with the look in Gideon's eyes, Rumple felt lost and alone.

"Yes, Father, I have so many questions." Gideon's words dripped with a darkness that Rumple could only imagine. "So many questions... As to why a man like you... could ever think... That I... would have anything or want anything to do with you... apart from to kill you. You have spent your lifetime hurting everyone. My mother has tried endlessly to help you. But I am going to do her a favor."

Rumple held his ground. The words had beat him down to the ground. Had stabbed him so deep in his heart that he had to be strong. His thoughts went to Belle. There was still so much left unspoken between the two of them. So much they had yet to experience. And now, because of his actions, another son of his hates him. Hates him with vengeance.

His eyes fluttered close for a brief couple of seconds before opening again to look at his son. "Whatever you have planned, son, just get on with it."

Gideon seemed to be taken aback by his father's words. "What?"

"Well, if you're going to kill me then do it. I'm tired. I'm tired of failing my family, of failing your mother. So," Rumple took a step closer to his son, feeling his breath on his face. "Do it. That's if you can... boy." Gideon seemed to be physically hurt by the words of his father, stepping away from him to try to lessen the hurt. Rumple's resolve seemed to waver at seeing the hurt he had caused his son. They'd had a similar conversation the day before, but Rumple was only trying to encourage the anger out of his son.

Distantly there was the sound of a door opening and slamming shut. "Rumple!" Belle's voice echoed down the stairs. Gideon's gazed rose to the ceiling as though he could see Belle through the floor. Rumple's brow furrowed together.

"I don't need to kill you, father." Gideon said, his gaze lowering to settle on Rumple as footsteps drew closer down the stairs. "Remember... Mother is your weakness. I only have to hurt her and that will hurt you."

Belle entered the basement and stopped for a moment, coming face to face with the scene of her husband and son. For a brief moment a smile crept quickly over her lips before she quickly came to her senses.

"Gideon!" Belle urged, starting towards him. "Son! Please!"

Rumple looked from Gideon to Belle and back again. Gideon's face seemed to draw darker at the sight of his mother. Seeing his son like that made Rumple sick in his stomach. He now understood what Belle must go through with him, seeing him do these sick acts at times.

Rumple let his eyes be drawn back to Belle, the brightest light in the room. Even in this moment, his heart fluttered seeing her. He had a strong urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her, whispering sweet nothings over her skin. In this instance though, it was probably the wrong thing to be thinking about but she had such a strong presence in his heart. Sadly, his son was right, he did not need to kill Rumple to kill him.

"Let us help you, Gideon." Belle continued, coming to stand beside Rumple.

"Mother, you have incredible timing." Gideon's smile was repulsive. Not even a smile a mother could love.

Confused, Belle looked to Rumple and then back to their son. "Gideon, we're here to help you."

"Mother." Gideon looked from one parent to the other. "Father. Yes, you can help me." Belle's fingers grasped at Rumple's hand, her fingertips burring into his palm. "You can help me by getting my vengeance."

Belle's smile slowly left her face. "Your vengeance? I don't understand."

"Yes, mother, vengeance." Gideon took a step towards his parents. "I am here to get my… your vengeance, mother.

"Why, son?" Rumple's voice cracked as the words fell out of his mouth.

"You have caused so much pain. Caused so much pain to my mother and to me." Gideon spat, slapping his hand on his chest to emphasize. "You pushed her into sending me away. You tore our family apart. Left me to the darkness. To the Black Fairy. But it is time that all of this stopped."

"Gideon, we can help..." Belle began before being cut off by Gideon saying. "No! You can't help! Sorry, mother!" Gideon began an incantation, his hands danced through the air, drawing the magic to him.

Rumple in that instance forgot about everything else.

Belle.

Belle was his thought. Not power. Not magic. Just simply: Belle.

The air around them began to crackle with intensity as Gideon finished his spell casting. Rumple knew what he had to do. Something that Belle had asked for. Something she knew he could be and do. He had to be... Selfless.

Taking a deep breath, Rumple pulled Belle to him as Gideon began to release whatever he had conjured up. Belle's face was full of puzzlement and Rumple did not blame her. Her heart was so full of goodness that she was not always able to see the darkness in front of her. But this time, the darkness was not Rumple. It was their son, Gideon.

Rumple wrapped his arms around Belle and pulled her close against his chest for protection and strength for himself. She was his everything. That glimmer of light that danced on his ocean of darkness. His one true love.

The pain that hit him, was not from the spell that was casted on him. It was the pain in her eyes. The crystal blue eyes that held such high hope for him seem to diminish. The bright light that was once there, darkened in that moment as he smiled at her. He knew whatever had been cast on him was not his concern. He didn't care. All he cared about was Belle.

His legs began to weakened. His weight shifted onto Belle. She cried in pain, whether it was emotional or physically, he didn't know. All he knew that in that moment, he was probably the happiest man alive. Sadly. If only he'd known or realize that, the strength, he felt in that moment, was all the power he ever wanted.

"Rumple!" Belle screamed down his ear. Rumple slid down against her body to the floor.

Gideon was puzzled by his father's bizarre behavior. As Belle cradled Rumple in her arms, Gideon got his composure back. "It doesn't matter, father. My work with you is done." He laughed. "Mother will be better off without you, especially as she won't be able to help you. She can now get on with her life."

Rumple did not seem to care what his son had said. For all he cared in that moment, there was an angel stroking his grizzly stubble face and talking sweet nothings to him. As his body numbed, Rumple reached up and stroked some hair out of Belle's face.

"I love you, sweetheart." He whispered. Her cradling arms tightened around him, drawing him nearer to her warmth. Her light.

Gideon evilly chuckled to himself. "I have a Savior to slay." With that said, Gideon disappeared in a cloud of smoke and left Rumple and Belle alone in Rumple's basement.

Belle's tears began to run down Rumple's face. He could feel the hot warmth of her tears, it the only sensation he could feel till her warm lips kissed him. Something inside of him tingled. A hint of light that was quickly devoured by the darkness inside of him.

"Rumple... Please..." Belle begged him. "Don't leave me!"

He wanted to answer her. He wanted her to feel better. He wanted the bright light back in her eyes, but... He could not. Rumple did not know what had been casted on him, but everything was gone. He didn't feel anymore. Physically, didn't feel anymore. He was limp. Defenseless. Weak.

Belle clawed at his waistcoat. "RUMPLE! Please!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Locked and Alone: Chapter 4**

The ward was quiet. Dark and quiet. Nothing stirred apart from Rumple. He lay in the hospital bed staring up at the ceiling, mulling his thoughts about the day. It seemed his son had cast an immobilizing spell onto him, or was rather going to cast it onto Belle. From the discussion he barely heard earlier, no one had a clue as to what to do. Regina had tried to reverse it and then with the combine power of Regina and Emma, but to no avail. He was stuck. Stuck inside himself.

For a spell to cast onto Belle, it definitely would serve two purposes he thought. It would have forced Rumple into the darkest of places to try and save Belle, and it also would have driven Belle insane. The thought of Belle not being able to read a book made him chuckle inwardly. The silly notions she got from reading books.

Headlights of a car danced across the ceiling and then were gone again. Rumple let his eyes wander over the ceiling. 'It will drive me insane staring at that ceiling', he thought to himself.

There were distance footsteps. A nurse going about her rounds no doubt. Their footsteps came to the doorway to his room. He could not turn his head to see them. He did not want to see anyone. As much as this would have been the ultimate prison for his wife, it was also a perfect pit of despair for Rumple. Locked inside with his thoughts. The dark thoughts that had ruined his life. That he had allowed to ruin his life.

A hand touched Rumple's hand, burning his skin with their touch. "Rumple."

The sweet voice of Belle drew him from the darkness. His eyes strained to see her till she moved closer, so her face was lit by the monitors.

'Oh, sweetheart.' He thought to himself. 'What have I done?'

"Rumple, we're going to fix this. I am going to get you out of there. I promise." Belle promised, her fingers squeezed his fingers. Her touch was like wildfire. Burning up his arm from his fingers. Rumple would have given her his normal speech on how he did not need anyone meddling in his affairs. It was his problem. But, with no use of his mouth, he would have to save that for another time… if there ever was one.

She perched herself beside him on the bed, gently caressing his hand in the safety of her lap. "Everyone is at the library now. They're trying to find a way to reverse this."

'Oh, great. The Charmings are coming to MY rescue.' He rolled his eyes.

"Don't be like that. You have no choice. You have to let us help you." Belle said. Rumple would have frowned at her, if he had use of his facial expressions. Either he was that readable or she knew him too well for her own good.

She swept some hair out of her face and bit her lip. Rumple liked it when she did that. The telltale of her nervousness. He wanted to devour it.

"No one's seen Gideon. I'm so worried for him, Rumple. I hope we can bring him back from whatever dark place he's in." She said. He wished he could pull her into his arms, reassure her that he would sort it for her. That he was here for her.

Belle sheepishly looked at him. "I'm so sorry, Rumple. If I had given you a chance, maybe none of this would have happened. We could be sitting here with our baby boy. Instead we don't know where he is or what he is planning."

Rumple inwardly sighed. Belle was the strongest person he knew. The brightest and most caring woman he had ever had the joy of having in his life. But her love was also her strongest weakness. Her love was able to cloud her mind and draw her into self-deluded thoughts that everything was her own fault. That she was not good enough.

But she did not get it. She was more than enough. She was his everything.

"I'm tired, Rumple, I'm gonna go now. I just wanted to check on you as I knew you wouldn't be asleep. You never sleep." Belle said slipping off the bed to rest his hand back by his side. She looked down at him, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

"I'm not giving up on you, Rumple. I am here for you. Together or not, I will find a way." Belle leaned over and kissed him on his forehead, her hand gently stroking his greying short hair. With that said, she left his dark hospital room and headed out into Storybrooke.


	5. Chapter 5

**Locked and Alone: Chapter 5**

Doctors and nurses had been coming to see him all day. Poking and prodding him. Trying to medically fix something that had been caused by magic. 'Pathetic', he thought to himself. At least though, someone had thought to put him into a sitting position, saving him from the staring at the ceiling and instead stared at the wall in front of him. This helpless feeling was not doing much for Rumple. He was stuck not knowing what was going on beyond these four walls.

The Charmings and Belle had turned up earlier, trying to see if they could get a hint out of him of what they should do. They were stumped. They did not know where to go. Maybe that was what he was to them. The wise Rumple, coming to the assistance of the heroes when they were mentally stuck.

They had wafted some more spells around the room and threw some potions and dust over him, but nothing seemed to make a difference. Nothing would awaken his body.

Of course, the first solution thrown around the room was to try true love's kiss. Belle was first to blow this answer out. She'd already kissed him. It had not made a difference. So with that crossed off the list, the Charmings and Belle left to come up with a new battle plan. Rumple had been disappointed that Belle was not willing to kiss him again. He so relished her kiss. Her soft, warm lips.

A nurse trudged her way into his room, snatched his board from the end of the bed and began making notes of the time and readings on the monitors. Rumple rolled his eyes at the young woman as she left and returned to his musings.

The blinds moved with the breeze that came through the window. On a day like today, with the warmth of the sunshine, he probably would have enjoyed taking a walk around the lake like they used to. Sit and chat while she fed the ducks. She liked doing that and he loved watching her do that. The joy that lit her eyes, it brought a warmth to his heart.

At the end of his bed, appeared a cloud of smoke that cleared to reveal him. Rumple met his son's eyes. The darkness he saw earlier lingered in Gideon's eyes. Gideon clasped his hands behind his back as he came around the bed and stood beside his father.

"I hope they're taking care of you, father." Gideon chuckled. "I know how much you like being fussed over." Rumple glared at his son. He did know him. This was hell for Rumple. The idea of letting these people fight his battle for him, have power over him, repulsed him.

"Mother is running all over the town with the Charmings." Gideon informed his father. "Too bad they can't fix this." He gestured his hand towards Rumple. "The only thing that can fix this is true love's kiss, but… Of course… You don't have one of those. Or… Should I say, the thing you truly love can't kiss you, father. Your power is pointless now."

Rumple closed his eyes.

Gideon snickered, "So, in some ways, it has worked out perfectly. I had hoped to curse mother with this, but on reflection, it doesn't matter which one of you I cursed. You can never love anything but your power. Your magic."

'Kill me now', Rumple thought to himself.

"Oh no, father." Gideon leaned towards Rumple as his eyes flew open to look at his son. "Oh yes, father. I can hear you. And no, I will not kill you. This is more painful for you."

Rumple was desperate. 'Your mother is hurting. This was all me. Please, don't hurt Belle like this! End it!'

"But this is so good. I AM getting my vengeance on you. You forced her to give me up." Gideon said, sitting down beside Rumple's feet. Rumple wanted nothing more than to choke his son where he sat. Choke all the darkness out of him. Choke the poison that Rumple's mother had injected into his innocent baby boy.

Gideon seemed distracted for a moment, as though he was listening to someone whisper in his ear, before he said. "Well, I better go. Things to do and what not. Have fun, father."

As Gideon puffed into a cloud of smoke, the goody patrol came into the room with Belle in tow. They all paused in the doorway. Regina was the first to compose herself and swiftly went to Rumple's bedside.

"Was that your son?" She asked Rumple. Rumple closed his eyes. He was haunted by his son's words. The darkness he had allowed into his life had driven one son away and had now made his other son to dive so deep into darkness that it seemed hopeless that he would ever come to the surface. Maybe this was Rumple's consequence for using magic. To drive his children away. To drive the hopelessness deep into his heart.

A warmth touched his hand. He opened his eyes to be greeted by Belle. The dim twinkle of her hope was still fluttering in her eyes. That small amount of hope may have been his salvation at one time when it was at its brightest. Over the years though, Rumple had given it a beating but nothing like this.

"Are you okay, Rumple?" Belle asked softly.

He could not answer her. She knew he couldn't.

Too much loomed over Rumple for him to ever be 'okay'. How was anyone supposed to recover from being abandoned by their mother for power? Their father abandoning them to live as a boy in Never Neverland? His wife leaving him for another man? These feelings haunted Rumple too much for it to ever be 'okay'.

She knew that. He knew that.

Rumple, in that moment, did realize something that had never come to mind before. As much as he had strived for power and more power, it had always had a meaning behind it. His parents could never say that their thirst for power had anything to do with anyone else. They wanted it for themselves. Rumple had wanted to keep his boy safe. He just lost himself to his knife. To his power. His mistress.

Belle squeezed his hand drawing his gaze to her. "We'll fix it, Rumple."

"We need to put protection spells up in here." Regina started surveying the doorways and windows. "Rumple is defenseless like this." She waved her hand in Rumple's direction. Rumple glared. Regina shrugged her shoulders at him, stating the brutal honest truth as usual.

"I don't think Gideon's going to do anything more to Rumple." Belle stated to the room. "He wants him to pay for our poor decisions. He wants to hurt, Rumple."

Hook waved his hook in a smacking motion. "Then take him over your knee, give him a good spanking and we can get on with our lives."

"Hook." Emma looked at him, scolding her child boyfriend.

They all began to drawl off into a deep conversation of what to do next. Rumple was not interested. His son was right. It was hopeless. Belle and him were never ever going back to how it was. No apology could make up for his mistakes. Actions do speak louder than words, as he proved to her the other day, but he is in no position to do any actions anymore. He was helpless and drowning in his dark thoughts.

Rumple had one thought. One admission, which he had already told Belle, but it echoed from deep inside of him. 'If I could go back… I would change all of it to be with her'.


	6. Chapter 6

**Locked and Alone: Chapter 6**

'She's so beautiful', Rumple thought to himself as he sat watching Belle sleep on the chair in the corner. She had come back after the goody patrol left and had set up camp in his room with some books and snacks from Grannies. If he could move, he would sweep her up into his arms and take her to bed. Her hair was slightly covering her face, teasing him to come over and move it. But that was not going to happen any time soon.

Without being able to speak to Belle, he was not going to be able to convince her that he truly loved her. He had loved her from the moment he saw her. The gold dress she had been wearing that day was imprinted in his mind. The strength she had shown that day, not scared by his appearance or reputation, intrigued him. And even after all this time, that had not changed. She was always full of surprises and he loved that about her.

He had seen a kindred spirit in her. A soul that was lost and wanted to be released into the world. She was much stronger than he had ever been as a normal man. But with his confidence that came by being the Dark One, she had needed him more. They had given each other the power to be and want more. Except Rumple felt he could never live up to her high bar of the hero she wanted him to be and that was when he was at his weakest.

His weakest always called to… his mistress of power. His mistress had been around for a long time. It was not something he could get Belle to understand. She wanted it now. She wanted her man. Rumple could not blame her. But… he needed his mistress more. He needed his mistress to make him strong. To make him untouchable. Unstoppable.

Rumple broke his gaze from her and his thoughts, and started reading the health and safety sign on the wall again. There had to be some kind of loophole in there somewhere he could exploit. Something to do was all he craved. Or even be able to use some magic to entertain himself.

He rolled his eyes at himself and went back to watching Belle. Her eyes were staring at him, watching him. "What are you thinking about, Rumpelstiltskin?"

She only really used his full name if he was in trouble, but her tone suggested something a bit more playful. Belle marked her page in the book she had been reading before she fell asleep and put it to one side as you got out of the chair. She stretched and took the view in from his window. The light from outside his room danced across her back and hair. It highlighted her when she turned to face him.

Rumple could not for the life of him, put his finger on why he could not give her what she wanted. She wanted him. She wanted this good man that she saw when she looked at him. But like he had told her in the underworld, she fell in love with him. Not a part of him. She fell in love with him and the beast. The beast that had contracted her to work in his castle for the rest of her life. He did not disguise the fact that he did sordid things from her. If throwing a bloody apron on the table and asking for a clean one, did not show what kind of man he was, he did not know what did.

She dragged her feet moving across the room to rest on the side of his bed. "I know you're scratching at the walls in there. I've never known you be able to sit this still. You were always planning some new deal or spinning straw."

Her fingers stroked the back of his hand. Rumple looked at their hands. Every time she touched him, he felt it. But whenever the doctors or nurses, or anyone else, touched him he did not feel anything. No warmth. Nothing.

"I had so many dreams about us bringing up our child. Guess I can understand Snow White and Prince Charming situation with Emma so much now." Belle's eyes watered. "We've missed out on so much, Rumple, and it's all my fault. Maybe if I hadn't sent him away with Blue…"

'I feel you, Belle', Rumple thought to himself. But how could he convey that to her…?

"We didn't get to see his first steps." She seemed to be listing things off to him. Any other time he probably would have been listening to her. Rumple was distracted by trying to understand the meaning of why he could feel her. He knew they had always had a connection. An electricity that drew them together. Was their bond this strong?

"There is one thing about this." She said pulling him out of his thoughts. "I'm not having to worry about what scheme you're conjuring up." Her smile was halfhearted. Her statement though was too close to the raw hurt between them. The raw hurt he had planted there.

With a sigh she stood up and climbed onto the bed beside him, her leg wrapped over his and Belle swept his arm around her neck like a scarf. He looked at her. She towered over him slightly, moving some of the cables and tubes to get comfortable. The warmth he felt through the sheets was not as strong as her holding his hand, but he could feel the burn down his side that she was leaning against.

Belle started examining his face. "At least I can say Gideon is as handsome as his father."

His eyes rolled as soon as he heard that word. 'Handsome'. She would often throw that in his face. Handsome was something he was not. He was ugly. A monster. No one should look at this coward the way that she does. But… she does.

"Don't roll your eyes at me. I am telling you the truth." She proclaimed, her hand swatted his chest. The shock that ran through his chest felt like someone was using paddles to shock his heart. "Okay, so in Enchanted Forest, you could have used… Maybe a little bit of a makeover? But I fell in love with you! Not the way you looked."

Her fingers began to play with the stubble beard that had appeared over the last couple of days. Rumple had never gone this long without shaving. Even when she was not around, he shaved daily. Milah had hated his stubble… Though she did not seem to mind Hook's beard.

"Belle to Rumple." She called stroking the side of his face. Her touch was so warm on his face. It burned as her fingers slid into his short peppered hair, her palm rested on his cheek. He wanted to lean so much into her touch, to baste in the warmth of her touch. Closing his eyes, he savored the touch, wishing that someone would hear him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Locked and Alone: Chapter 7**

The morning sun danced through the blinds and across the sleeping form of Belle, still huddled next to Rumple on the hospital bed. It had been a while since they had last shared a bed. As much as he did not sleep, he always enjoyed the feel of her when they shared their bed at home and he could watch over her as she slept peacefully. The only thing that was keeping him from having those cherished nights was himself and his actions.

Someone knocked on the open door to his room. "Can I come in?"

Rumple looked towards the open doorway and was greeted by an annoyance that had plagued him his whole lifetime. The Blue fairy stood in the doorway looking at Rumple and Belle. She slowly moved into the room, her steps unsure as she neared the hospital bed he occupied.

"I can hear you." The Blue fairy told him. Rumple stared at her. His trust for fairies was legendary. He would have rather stamped the life out of one them than for them to help him. Especially since the once standing in front him was the one that had taken his child away and allowed his mother, the Black Fairy, to take him.

Blue frowned at him. "You wished that someone could hear you. So I heard your wish."

He was not sure what to do. His normal reaction would be to spit some hurtful comment to the fairy that was stood in front of him, but he needed her help if she was telling him the truth.

'Really? You, of all people, can hear me?', Rumple thought.

"Yep." Blue answered. "So what now?"

Rumple's mind raced. He did not know what to tell her first. He had so much he wanted to say to Belle. He did not want to be telling this fairy his darkest and deepest secrets, or personal things between Belle and himself.

"Wow! Slow down, Mister Gold." Blue said. The tone of her voice must have stirred Belle, as her head raised sleepily off Rumple's chest.

'You need to tell Belle that I can feel her!', Rumple panicked.

Blue turned to the sleepy Belle and said, "Mister Gold told me to tell you that he can feel you."

Belle looked puzzled. She rubbed a hand over her face trying to rid herself of her sleepiness. Rumple rolled his eyes. Belle was terrible to wake in the morning.

"Blue, what are you talking about?" Belle looked about the room. "What time is it?"

Blue reached over the bed to Belle and touched her on the arm. "Belle, I can hear Mister Gold's thoughts."

Belle looked from Blue to Rumple and then back again, disbelief was written all over her face. Her gaze slowly returned to Rumple, their eyes locked.

Rumple could not help himself as he regarded Belle, 'I love you, Belle'.

"He says he loves you." Blue stated to Belle. Belle seemed like she still didn't seem to know what was happening. She slowly sat back down onto the edge of the bed. Their eyes held, unspeaking. He knew he would give everything up for her. She was his. And he was hers. There did not seem to be anything else worth saying. The silence spoke volumes.

"Rumple…" Belle whispered at him before leaning over him and she kissed him passionately.

He squeezed his eyes shut. There had only been one other kiss that would come close to this kiss. Her warmth seemed to flow through him. Chasing the darkness away. Forcing it to escape into the shadows. Her fingers worked their way into his hair, tugging at his hair to make sure he was unable to escape.

A small gasp was heard, but Rumple and Belle did not seem to care. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him, clinging to her for dear life. Their kiss deepened as Rumple hungrily kissed Belle, one of his hands cupped the back of her head.

"Belle!" shrieked Blue.

Rumple opened his eyes and looked towards the annoying fairy. "What?"

"Oh my god." Belle whispered hoarsely into his ear. "Rumple…"

His eyebrows pushed his brow up. Rumple was back. Freed from his prison. A chuckle escaped his mouth. He clenched fistfuls of Belle's sweater whilst he stared into her eyes with another disbelieving chuckle.

Rumple's voice was deep with emotion, as he spoke to Belle. "I love you so much, sweetheart."

"I love you too." Belle replied with tears streaming down her cheeks.

The moment was broken though as a puff of smoke filled the room to reveal Gideon. "NO!"

Rumple automatically reacted and with a fling of his hand, flung Gideon towards the wall knocking the younger man off his feet. As Rumple flew out of the bed, he ripped off all of the wires and tubes that were attached to him whilst Blue ran from the room calling for help. Belle was taken aback from the sudden movement as Rumple nearly knocked her off the bed.

Coming around the bed, Rumple grabbed at Gideon's clothing and yanked him from the floor. "Hello, son!"

"Rumple!" Belle screamed. "No!" She stared at them.

"The boy and I are going to have a little chat, dearie." As Rumple finished his sentence he transported Gideon and himself to the roof. Rumple still had hold of Gideon as they appeared on the rooftop of the hospital.

The shock on the younger man's face did not escape Rumple, especially as he buried his fist into the Gideon's stomach, knocking all the wind out of him and caused Gideon to gasp for air. Rumple released his hold on his son. A small sprang of guilt rang through his body, watching his young son drop to the floor in a heap at Rumple's feet.

"Father!" Gideon gasped.

"You do not – hurt - your mother!" Rumple spat the words at his son, the viciousness in his voice growled at Gideon. "You can do what you want with me, but causing your mother heartache is unforgiveable!"

Gideon was not able to respond. He gasped at the air like a fish out of water.

Rumple could not believe it. He shook his head and placed his hands on his hips. "I am sorry to do this, son. But I have to think of your mother. I cannot allow you to hurt her or yourself. This darkness was never meant for you, Gideon!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Gideon dared to look at his father as Rumple waved his hand. A bracelet appeared on Gideon's wrist.

Gideon clawed desperately at it, as he said. "You can't do this to me! She won't let you do anything to me!"

"I cannot trust you… Son." Rumple said, causing Gideon to snap his hateful gaze at Rumple. "I love you."

Gideon chuckled evilly. "You don't love anyone! You love your power!"

Sadly, Rumple waved his hand and teleported Gideon away. With a miserable sigh, Rumple teleported himself back to his room that was now overrun with a flurry of activity. Belle was crying into Blue's shoulder. Nurses and doctors were running around. Rumple took in the scene. A moment to breath.

"Belle!" Rumpled raised his voice above the ruckus of people in the room, Belle's head whipped out of Blue's shoulder. She crossed the room in seconds and pushed people out of her way to get to Rumple.

"What have you done with him!" She exclaimed, hitting him in the chest.

Rumple's brow knitted together. "I have put him somewhere safe, where he isn't going to hurt anyone. It's for his own good."

"What the hell does that mean, Rumple?" Another one of her fists hit him squarely in the chest.

"Do you think I would hurt him?" Rumple's voice was deep and dark. "I would – never – intentionally hurt my child! Hurt – our – child!"

"Where is he then?" Belle asked in a quiet voice.

Rumple shook his head. "I love you so much, sweetheart, but no. If you can't trust me…" He reached out and grabbed her shoulders. "Then that's it." With that said, Rumple clicked his fingers and left Belle with her assumptions in the hospital room. He reappeared in the back of his shop.

Clenching his eyes shut, Rumple ran his fingers through his hair, a nasty reminder of the short sweet moment he had shared with Belle moments ago flashed into his mind. He let out a roar of dissatisfaction, shoving things off the side onto the floor. His chance for happiness was always just at his fingertips.

The light that had fought in him was quickly defeated by his returning darkness. The darkness overrun him when Belle thought he would do something to their own son. Gideon was safe. The town was safe. What more did she want? If Gideon had to spend the rest of his life in that padded cell that Rumple had sent him to in the asylum… Then so be it.

But for her to think that he would do something… To Gideon. Broke him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Locked and Alone: Chapter 8**

Rumple pulled up to the kerb and slid the gear lever into park, turning off the car before he climbed out of the car. He shut the driver's door and walked around to the trunk to retrieve his groceries. With his brown bags in hand, he stowed his car keys in his pocket and trudged his way up into the dark house. There were no lights on as he opened the front door and slid into the consuming darkness of his house. He was alone with his old friend, darkness.

He placed the brown paper bags onto the sideboard to remove his coat and throw his keys into the clear glass bowl beside his groceries. Collecting his bags, he sighed making his way through the house to the kitchen, flicking the light switch on when he passed it to go around the kitchen island. The house was so quiet now that she had moved out permanently. He thought it would just go back to how it was the 28 years he'd lived here on his own, but the silence was deafening.

Rummaging through the bags he began putting things away. He knew he could click his fingers and it would all be put away, but he liked the mundane practise of unpacking his groceries into cupboards. Organising his cupboards to perfection. Everything was easily to hand in his large kitchen.

With everything away in its place, Rumple grabbed the kettle from the stove and filled it with fresh water to make some tea. He always preferred tea. The coffee they had in this world did nothing for him. But he had found their selection of different teas to be pleasing. Rumple set the copper kettle down onto the stove and lit the ring beneath it, leaving it to dig through his cupboard at his tea selection. She always preferred the fruit teas, where he had taken a liking to Earl Grey over the years.

Rumple absentmindedly grabbed one of the china cups out of the cupboard and placed it on the side near the kettle. He lent against the kitchen island and crossed his arms over his chest. His day had led to nothing special. He'd caught sight of Belle and their son, Gideon, chatting over lunch in Grannies. He was glad that their son had made the right choices in the end. The madness that Rumple's mother had instilled into his son cut deep into Rumple. Not only had Rumple's parents managed to mess with his head, but one of them had also managed to leave a scar on his son.

The kettle began to whistle. Rumple sighed heavily as he turned the stove off and then poured some hot water into the cup before dropping a bag of Earl Grey tea into it. He left the kettle on a cool ring on the stove and walked into the living room with his brewing tea. The couch groaned under the new weight of Rumple as he sat into it, shifting further back into its cushions to get comfortable. He kicked his shoes off and placed his sock clad feet on the coffee table.

The light from the kitchen flooded over the counter behind him, casting shadows into the living room. Shadows that had become his friends. The only company he tended to have these days. No matter what had happened that day. He hadn't joked to himself that she would be back ever again or that he would ever have her back. She can always easily forgive him, but not forget. For Rumple to do that…

He was grateful that she'd managed to talk some sense into their son. Stopping him from making the worse decision he could in the dark place he had been at the time. It seemed the counselling Gideon was getting from the cricket was helping and the endlessly forgiving love of his mother was soothing him, and kept him from the dark path that Rumple walked. Rumple was just sad that he couldn't be part of his son's healing process.

It had been a few months since Gideon had threatened to kill Emma and had imprisoned Rumple. Gideon had managed such headway with the people of Storybrooke since the incident. Something his father could never do. Too much distrust for his father in people's hearts.

Hesitantly he sipped at his hot tea, enjoying the sweet aroma of his tea that tickled his senses. His gaze swept the coffee table for the television remote but there was no sight of it. Rumple shrugged his shoulders before clicking his fingers, the remote appeared in his hand. He turned the television on, selecting to watch a cooking channel just to fill the house with some noise.

He could never understand how one person could make so much noise. The day she had returned to his castle with him, he could always hear her no matter where she was in the castle. Whether she was cursing him or she did something by mistake, he could hear her. Hence why he had to put a stop to her sobbing during the night by giving her the satin pillow. It was not easy for him to plan his devilish scheme, if she was going to sob so loud. She was so full of life then, it was infectious. It was probably why she was able to get under his skin and stab into his dark heart.

A crooked smile pulled at the corner of his lips. Belle certainly had gotten under his skin. He hadn't expected someone to be able to do that again. When he had pushed her away after their first kiss, he was so angry with himself that he'd let someone get through his defences that he had to release that tension. Smashing so many trinkets he had collected over the years. Priceless relics that were defenceless against him. But she was right, after he let her go and The Evil Queen had lied to him, he regretted everything. He deeply regretted throwing away a love he thought he would never feel again.

Rumple sighed heavily before finishing off the remains of his tea, leaving only the tea bag in the bottom of his tea cup. Groaning he lifted his legs from the table, shot the remote at the television to turn it off and stood to take the empty tea cup to the kitchen sink. He glanced at the darkness out of the kitchen window, his lonely ghostly reflection staring back at him. Pressing his lips into a thin line, he picked the tea bag out of his cup and disposed of it into the bin under the kitchen sink.

He left the cup in the sink and made his way to the light switch in the kitchen, but was caught by a picture that she had left on the fridge. A corny love themed fridge magnet she had bought one shopping trip, pinned the picture of the two of them to the cool surface of the fridge. His thumb caressed her smiling face in the picture. They'd been fooling around on the beach whilst on their honeymoon and she had started taking selfies of the two of them together. It was probably the most normal he had ever felt that weekend with her. His gaze fell from the photo to his feet as he reluctantly walked away from it.

Rumple tugged at his tie, relieving the tightness of it from his neck. As he climbed the stairs in darkness, he began to shrug off his suit jacket revealing his black waist coat with a red satin back. He was glad it was finally Saturday as tomorrow he did not have to leave his house. No more eyes staring at him till it all started again Monday morning. Rumple shook his head at the hushed voices that followed him wherever he went about town.

He pushed open the door to his bedroom and tossed his suit jacket onto the bed as he sauntered over to the window to gaze out over Storybrooke. Rumple unbuttoned his waist coat and stripped it from himself to join his suit jacket on the bed. Slowly pulling at the knot of his tie, he removed his tie and began rolling it in his hands as he turned to face the rest of the room. His room felt so big without her there. The bed hadn't been slept in since she left, it wasn't like Rumple needed to sleep now the original curse had been lifted. That was probably the only thing he missed about the curse, sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Locked and Alone: Chapter 9**

The stairs creaked as Rumple made his way up from the basement. The early morning sunshine leaked in through the windows, illuminating his kitchen. He set a plate down into the sink and then made his way upstairs, still wearing the dress shirt and pants he had come home in last night. The pants were slightly wrinkled due to him sitting on his stool most of the night, nothing a wash and iron wouldn't fix.

He stretched his arms above his head trying to get rid of the stiffness he felt in his back. The price he paid for spinning straw all night. Rumple pulled at his shirt around his waist, untucking the tails from his pants as he walked into the bathroom connected to his bedroom. He reached into the shower and turned the shower on, leaving it to get hot as he undressed.

As he was pulling the shirt over his head, he heard the echo of the front door bell ring up the stairs. Puzzled he exited his bedroom and went to the end of the hall where a window faced out onto the front of his property. He couldn't see anyone's cars that he knew. No one visited him anyway.

Rumple shook his head blaming the neighbourhood kids again. Entering his bedroom again, he stripped himself till he was naked and then stepped into the shower. The warmth was welcome as the water traced its way down his body, washing the tension out of his back. He just stood there for a moment, his arms bracing him against the wall as the hot water ran down his back.

After a while, he reached round and grabbed his shower gel, squirting some into his hand before he started washing himself down. He rubbed the soap over his chest, lathering his body as he worked his hands over his body. Turning to the spray of the shower, he allowed the water to wash the soap off as he grabbed his shampoo off the shelve in front of him.

Rumple began to rubbed the contents of his hands into his hair, but stopped when he heard a creak from the stairs. He scowled watching through the bathroom doorway to the bedroom doorway, waiting for someone to appear.

"Rumple?" She called. For some reason, Rumple panicked hearing her voice. He tried to quickly wash the shampoo out of his hair, when she suddenly appeared at the bedroom doorway.

"Rumple…? She called out to the room till her gaze met him in the bathroom. "Oh, I'm sorry, Rumple."

He rolled his eyes. It wasn't the first time she'd seen him naked and it wasn't the first time she'd seen him in the shower. For a split second, he was reminded of their wedding night. The memories of hungry hands and urgency. There wasn't a room in the house they hadn't christened.

"It's okay." Rumple swallowed hard turning off the shower. He stepped out and grabbed the nearest towel to cover himself up. "What can I do for you, Belle?"

"I wanted to see if you had some books on medical potions." She answered standing gingerly in his bedroom.

"Medical potions?" He tucked the towel in on itself as he slowly came into the room. "It must be really important, seeing as you choose to invade – my – home with no invitation."

Her gaze dropped to her feet. "Sorry, Rumple, I just thought you weren't in."

"Is this a normal thing for you? Coming into my home when I'm not here?" He questioned coming to stand in front of her. She seemed more interested in taking in his body then answering him.

"Well, dearie?" He was annoyed.

"No." Belle answered, realising she was staring at him. "I just really need them. Sorry."

Rumple groaned at her. "If you really need them, sweetheart, go and help yourself." He gestured towards the doorway. "You know exactly where I keep things like that. Get what you want and leave."

Belle seemed hurt by words. She nodded her head at him and left his bedroom, trudging her way back down the stairs to go to his basement. Rumple couldn't believe her, the nerve she had to just walk into his home.

He shook his head at her and went back into the bathroom where he grabbed another towel to dry his hair. Rumple rubbed at his hair vigorously. When he removed the towel from his head, his hair was spiked in tuffs pointing out in different directions. As he reached for the comb by the sink, he heard her faint call from downstairs.

"What?" He yelled down at her from the bathroom. She mumbled something again but he couldn't make it out. "Hang on, I can't hear you!" He threw the towel he used for his head to the floor in bathroom as he left. His annoyance was starting to build. 'How dare she?', Rumple thought as he padded his way down the wooden staircase. He rounded the corner into kitchen and then took the next set of stairs to the basement.

Rumple came to the bottom of the stairs to find Belle tip toeing on one foot off his stool that he used to sit at his spinner, trying to reach a book that was on the top shelve. "Belle!"

She shrieked in surprised that he was suddenly in the room. "I can't reach it, Rumple."

"Right," He said strolling over to her. "Get down from there. I don't need you falling off that stool and breaking that little neck of yours, dearie."

Belle started leaning her weight back onto the stool. The stool suddenly kicked out from underneath. The low groan erupted from Rumple, catching her before she fell to the floor. She gained her footing, her body pressed against him.

Rumple didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say to her. He was annoyed with her right now for invading his space. But his annoyance seemed to fizzle away as he held her in his arms, memories of a different life they'd shared together popped into his head. A castle in a faraway land where it was just the two of them. No one interrupting them or getting in the way. A young girl trying to spring clean his curtains instead fell into his arms. He shook the memories away. This wasn't the time for reminiscing.

Her fingers dug into his biceps, steadying herself against his frame. "Oh, Rumple!"

"This is starting to become a habit with you." Rumple mumbled and released his hold on her. Belle seemed less cooperative to release her hold on his arms.

"Rumple," Belle looked deeply into his eyes. "Can we talk?"

He frowned at her. "Talk? Talk about what?"

"We need to talk about us." She stated to him, a small smile pulled at the corner of her lips. Rumple shook his head stepping back and snatched his arms out of her hold.

"You made it clear. You don't trust me, sweetheart." He pointed at her, his annoyance returning. "I did what you wanted! I didn't harm him!"

She tried to take a step towards him but he countered by stepping further away. "Rumple, I'm sorry."

"You assumed! You assumed I would hurt my baby boy. My son." Rumple's voice cracked as he spoke. "And where have you been, hey?"

"What?" She seemed puzzled by his question.

"Well," He took a step towards her, his voice deep. "It's been three months." He indicated three with his fingers to her. "If you wanted to talk to me about –us-," Rumple gestured between them. "Then why not sooner?"

Belle's head dropped, her gaze on his feet. "I was ashamed."

Rumple scoffed at her. "You? Ashamed? That's normally my role, isn't it?"

"I am really sorry, Rumple." Belle said, she looked up from the floor to him. "I just… Couldn't speak to you."

"Never mind, dearie." He dismissed her apology. "What book do you want?" Rumple moved passed her to look at the bookcase. Easily he reached up and grabbed the stack of books she was trying to reach. He noticed a couple more on the shelve and took them off the shelf for her.

"Right, here are your books." Rumple turned to face her. She was crying, wiping her tears away onto the sleeve of her jumper. A small amount of guilt stabbed at his dark heart.

He stepped towards her and shoved the books into her arms. "Now go."

Rumple didn't feel like there was anything more to be said and left her in his basement. He stomped his way up the staircases and back to his bedroom. His hands ran through his hair flatting it. A tug at the top draw of the chest of draws revealed his underwear. Rumple started to dressed but paused when he heard the front door open. Listening he waited for the door to shut again. A couple of seconds went by till he heard the front door rattle as it was shut with force.

He took a deep breath leaning against the chest of draws. 'It was for the best', he thought to himself flinging the towel to one side. Belle had already shown she couldn't trust him. Milah didn't trust him either and he couldn't blame her or Belle. He was the Dark One. Evil through and through.

As he straightened his boxers, someone suddenly grabbed his shoulder and spun him round on his heels. "All the times I have forgiven you!"

Rumple staggered backwards against the chest of draws he had been leaning again. "Belle!"

"Rumpelstiltskin, don't you think after all the things you have done to me. To me! That I have forgiven, you could at least owe me the benefit of the doubt and forgive me for one mistake." She poked her finger into his bare chest.

"You hurt me!" He snapped at her.

"And what do you think you've done to me!" She countered.

Rumple glared at her. "What do you want, Belle? What do you want from me?"

"I want you!" Belle grabbed hold of his arms. "I want us back!"

"Tough!" He spat at her.

She shook her head at him in defiance. "No, it isn't tough!"

Rumple didn't get a chance to rebuke her. Belle grabbed him by the nape of his neck and dragged him towards her. She kissed him hard, her hands holding his head. For a moment Rumple didn't know what he was supposed to do: fight or submit?

His hands were the first to betray him and snaked their way around her waist to draw her nearer to him and Rumple pressed himself against her. He couldn't help the groan as he eagerly returned her kiss, his hands clenched at her clothing. Belle clawed at his back and the nape of his neck with her nails. Neither one wanted to let go of the other.

Rumple grabbed the back of her thigh making her leg lift and lifted her off of the floor in one movement. There was a small cry of surprise from Belle. He didn't care as he turned to sit her on the chest of draws she had pinned him to. His hips pressed against the open draw and shut it with a slam as his hand drew up her side and into her hair, grabbing a handful of it. A moan of pleasure escaped Belle's mouth.

He pushed against her bumping the chest of draws with his knee. The lamp that was behind Belle fell as he shifted her further onto the draws. The sound of the glass from the lamp breaking broke the spell over them. They pulled apart.

The breathless pair just stared at each other.

Rumple held the gaze and started to rub at his neck where she'd been clawing, tracing red lines down his neck to his upper back. Taking a deep breath, he stepped out from between her legs and fell back to sit on the end of the bed. They watched each other, taking the time to calm themselves.

He didn't understand her. One minute she wanted him. The next she didn't want to be anywhere near him. The only thing that was constant between them was he wanted her. That he loved her. Belle always seemed to be conflicted between what they had and what she expected from him. Damn romance novels. They had corrupted her before they had even met. She had this dreamy belief that she could change him from being a monster and he would change into this hero for her.

"Belle," He said softly. "I can't do this anymore."

Belle looked hurt by his candour. "Rumple, I love you."

"And I love you, sweetheart. But I can't do it. If we do then it needs to be for better or worse, like we promised. Not when I don't measure up." Rumple ran his hand through his hair trying to drum up his strength. "I have changed over the years. I am not the man… the monster you met. But you always want more from me and I can't give anymore. This is me."

She pursued her lips together and stayed quiet, as Rumple continued. "I am just a man now. A man that has this thing on his back that I fight so hard with to control. But that seems to mean nothing to you. I can never measure up to your expectations of what I can be."

"So… Is this the end of us then?" Belle whispered.

"Belle, that is up to you. I can only promise that I will try. And I do. I do every day! But you," He took a deep breath. "You beat me back down. You don't acknowledge the good, just the bad. And you are so quick to leave. Everyone is so quick to give up on me and leave."

She looked at him. "I'm not Milah."

"No." He closed his eyes. "You're worse."

"Worse?" She said horrified.

"She just left. You leave and come." He replied. Belle looked visibly hurt as her shoulders dropped, her eyes digging a whole into the carpet of his bedroom.

Rumple took a deep breath. "You're either with me or you're not."

Belle slid off the chest of draws and made her way over to him, dropping to kneel between his legs. "I want this, Rumple."

The tears began to run down her red cheeks. Her fingers pressed into the top of his thighs. His heart quickened seeing her in front of him like that. Of course, he loved her. This wasn't about love anymore. It was about self-preservation. But… He couldn't say no to her.

Rumple traced the back of his fingers down her cheek, chasing her tears away. "Then we need to do this together, because I don't want to be alone anymore, Belle. I've been alone for too long."

"One day at a time, then?" Belle said faintly. He smiled at her as his hands cupped her face, his thumbs gently caressing her wet cheeks. A crack of a smile broke on Belle's face.

"One day at a time." Rumple repeated and then pulled her into a hug, holding her tightly.


End file.
